Dealing with Conflict

[Coaching Lesson #2 from our Serving Leadership Development Program—Building Effective Teams, Phase 3]

As a leader, you WILL face conflict; it is impossible to avoid. Leaders must be able to resolve conflicts if they are going to lead effectively. Conflicts can destroy team unity, therefore, they cannot be overlooked or ignored. The question is: “How can I best respond to conflicts when they arise?”

Basically there are two types of conflict on a team—either between two or more team members or between the team leader and a team member. In one case a leader can act as mediator, in the other, the leader initiates reconciliation from a serving posture that considers the best interests of the follower.

Case Study: A Biblical Response to Conflict (Matthew 18:15-17)

In this passage, Jesus gave us the process to resolve conflicts. First, go directly to the person you have a conflict with. If they fail to reconcile, take another person or two and try again. If they still fail to work through the conflict with you, bring it before the larger group. 

Also consider the value of dealing with conflict immediately. The longer you wait, the more the conflict will grow and spread throughout the team. Members may take sides and the issue may escalate. Finally, always seek reconciliation rather than winning an argument.

Here is a suggested method for dealing with conflict (Five Stage PEACE Process):

1. P-ray about the subject of the conflict.
2. E-xplore each other’s positions and listen carefully to all views.
3. A-pproach possible solutions together.
4. C-ollaboration is better than compromise. Pray about it together.
5. E-xpel any resentment you may hold.

Some tips for resolving conflict:

1. Show genuine concern and interest for the other person.
2. Ask questions and get more information about the problem.
3. Be willing to consider their ideas and concerns.
4. Ask them for recommendations/alternatives to solve the problem.
5. Show love and focus on what is best for the team.

Consider the following passages and how they relate to resolving conflict:

• Leviticus 19:18
• Proverbs 10:12
• James 1:19
• Titus 3:2

Discussion Questions:

1. What are some of the reasons that cause conflicts to arise in a team or within the church?
2. What is the secret to preventing and resolving conflicts? (See Ephesians 4:1-3)
3. What should we do with people who are divisive and seem to enjoy promoting conflict? (See Romans 16:17-18)
4. Why is it sometimes necessary to remove a team member who creates conflict and refuses to change?